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  • Writer's pictureBret & Amber Tueller

Lonely Hearts Club

Not all dating experiences have a "happily-ever-after" ending

Getting to know someone romantically can leave you feeling… drained.

If you’ve ever felt like love is a battlefield, have no fear - we’ve all been there.

Sometimes bad dates happen to good people.

Enjoy a few romantic flops from our favorite people. You’re welcome, and no, we’re not sorry for sharing.

"When I was in 3rd grade I had a playground boyfriend named Ray. This relationship lasted just a few weeks without us even holding hands. I was on track break (I attended a year-round school)and was trying not to be late to my after-school art club class. As I was approaching the school my friend, Jamie, came up to me and was trying to tell me something. In a panic I walked faster, not really listening in fear of being late to my art class.

Shortly after the teacher took account of who was in class that day, Jamie poked his head in the room and then closed the door. After doing this several times, my art teacher, confused like the rest of us, turned and asked, 'Jamie, do you need something?'

While standing with only his face poking through the classroom door he blurted out as fast as he could, 'I NEED TO TELL HEATHER THAT RAY DOESN’T WANT TO BE

HER BOYFRIEND ANYMORE!' and then slammed the door shut. This was announced to all who were in the classroom, making it super awkward."

- Heather got over the embarrassment of that moment and went on to marry another flame she met from school.

"When I was a sophomore, a new high schooler, Emily, was the first girl to catch my attention. I remember feeling lucky to have a couple classes with her that year. We became 'friends' because of the interaction in a science and English class specifically. She had a way of being kind and engaged in a conversation yet just aloof enough to remain alluring. She was a soccer player with all of the physical attributes that come with that athletic endeavor. I was so disappointed when I realized she was dating someone. Not just someone, but a fairly infamous skater, known as a leader amongst the group that would hang at the skaters' corner and smoke outside. I, on the other hand, was not quite the bad boy type that she was apparently interested in.

We continued to be friends throughout that year and then summer came. Imagine the excitement when I saw her again the next school year and heard she was not dating her previous boyfriend. With the homecoming dance coming up, I quickly worked up the courage and asked her. Instead of using one of the cliché, funny methods to ask, I tried to be and act like a bad boy: just roses and and asking in person. It seemed to go over well. During classes leading up to the dance she seemed even more engaged and we even went to lunch a couple times before the dance. Things seemed to be going in the right direction. The day of the dance we went paintballing with our group and had a great time. I thought we had a great time together, laughing and getting close. We were lions on the battle field defeating all of our foes.

I distinctly remember feeling like this was it. My feelings toward her were reciprocated. This was the beginning of something. I was right. This was the beginning of something…but not what I thought. The dance started off well with just the right ratio of slow dances to fast. About an hour in I made a fatal mistake. I went to get us both a drink. When I came back she was gone. At first I didn’t think much of it but time marched on and she was nowhere to be found. I tried to nonchalantly look around the room for her without finding her for a while. As I spoke with people, acting as chill as possible, I was informed that someone had seen her leave with her old flame. Not being willing to believe that, I continued to look for her. Just before the last dance of the night….there she was as if she never went anywhere. She came up, asked me to dance, and went back to acting as she had the entire day. The confusion, relief, frustration must have been apparent after the dance. She tried to explain and finally let me know that, during that time away, the time that was supposed to be ours, she had decided to get back together with her 'Love.' She thanked me for a great day, and being a good 'friend,' asked me to take her home so she could go spend the after party with him. Devastated, but as one who had been friend- zoned does, I did. That was the first real heart break I felt while dating."

- Aaron remained in the "friend-zoned" for many years until he met and married Lisa. They now have six kids and will be grandparents soon!

"I met this girl named Rebecca. She was a former spokesperson for Quiznos; she was the 'Quiznos girl.' She and I had been texting for months before we went on this date. She was amazing, honestly! She genuinely cared about how my basketball teams were doing, she would talk life and philosophy with me, and we had pretty much the same sense of humor. We even got to a point where we were texting 'Good morning' to each other every day. So you could imagine my excitement level going into this date!

We met up at Leela's European Café, a place I used to go to often when I lived in Five Points. We had great conversation while there. It even included some basketball...which put a big smile on my face. We ate a little bit of food and by the end, we didn't want to separate!

I came up with an idea to go across the street to Tarantula's, a place where people played pool/billiards and darts. So we walked over, went in, and got a table.

We played for an hour of pool, which I felt may not be enough, considering how well things were going. As conversations continued, I focused more on what we were talking about than the actual game of pool. Apparently...I was the only one. We got through two games and I saw it. That look. In a moment's glance, I recognized that the smile she had on her face the previous two hours had shifted. Gone. Now, I'm accustomed to serious game faces or thinking faces. But this face told me, 'It's time to go.' I wasn't much of a 'dater' and didn't go on dates often, so I could have been wrong!! I wasn't. She abruptly, but nicely, said 'I'm ready to go.' The coach in me replayed every moment I could think of that caused the shift. Was it what we were talking about? Did I say something that she didn't agree with? Did I talk over her (I do have a tendency to be long winded...hence the long story)? Was I disrespectful? I couldn't figure it out. Once we got outside, I asked her 'Is everything ok?'

She replied, 'I guess I'm just not as into pool as you are. I'm sorry. Have a good night.'

I offered to walk her to her car but she kindly declined. I was mind blown. I had to go for a walk because no way I wanted to be this deep in thought and drive. It had later dawned on me that I won both of those games and handily. This was the first time a win wasn't actually a win because that, ladies and gentlemen, was the last time I ever saw her."

- That wasn't a love connection, but Chris is now happily married and his wife beats him at pool on a regular basis.


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